A story of TW

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Bluebell
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A story of TW

#1 » Post by Bluebell » 19 Apr 2015 03:19

So, I like to write and day dream on my bus journeys from work. With Rag's story I decided to write my own. Although mine's a lot more serious, and longer. So much so I have to split it into chapters. Written the first chapter, and ye it's nerdy and based on our server.

Any suggestions are welcome, for both grammar, writing style, plot lines etc. I'll continue posting this if people like it, if not I'll just write it anyway and spam people to give me feedback, those people know who they are! I'll put who's involved in each chapter at the start, and I've put who's left in my mind to be involved. If you like it and would like me write you in, you can send me a message and I'll think of something I guess. Just don't be like Coo who begged to be the single most important person.

Need a title for the story tho.

Link to whole story on Google docs.

Contents (links to each chapter)
Spoiler:
Chapter 1 - Black Sails
Chapter 2 - Chaos Enters
Chapter 3 - Horn of the Arch Angel
Chapter 4 - Whispers of War
Chapter 5 - Wrath of the Gladiator
Chapter 6 - Reinforcements arrive
Chapter 7 - The message spreads
Chapter 8 - Rising tensions
Chapter 9 - Race for Stormwind
Chapter 10 - A shadow encounter
Chapter 11 - Bloodlines and Legends
Chapter 12 - The Siege of Stormwind
Chapter 13 - Stormwind Rises
Chapter 14 - Battle of Stormwind
Chapter 15 - New Beginnings
Chapter 16 - The paths we take
Chapter 17 - Hidden truths
Chapter 18 - Darkness falls
Chapter 19 - Pieces in motion
Chapter 20 - A test of faith
Chapter 21 - The story of Hope
Chapter 22 - Sacrifice
Chapter 23 - Battle of Light's Hope Chapel
Chapter 24 - Fading light
Chapter 25 - Hope's Last Stand
Chapter 26 - Aftermath
Chapter 27 - A journey begins
Chapter 28 - The Prophet
Chapter 29 - Consequences of war
Chapter 30 - The lost city
Chapter 31 - Revelations
Chapter 32 - A Graveyard of Angels
Chapter 33 - Child of Courage
Chapter 34 - Dalaran Descends
Chapter 35 - The awakening
Chapter 36 - Outlaw
Chapter 37 - A City at War
People involved in this future

Spoiler:
Rohan
Blackluster
Demol
Coo
Cherno
Knewk
Kapernakiss
Teraan
Darchow
Arockalypse
Belendor
Gorecleave
HappyPanda
Virdo
Ragnorak
Smeldor
Merkava
Justicelight
Nazz
Etro
Arvit
Gnurg
Eisen
Saddie
Ubal?
Myaoming?
Fastor
Matsy
Esuna
Lestata
Fjord
Fivecapz
Greensmoker
Marick
Icedmilk
Kaylie
Biscuit
Economist
Voyonkor
Wilcox
Amorian
Nepyx
Meko
Roel
Stray
Solstice


Frequently Asked Questions
Spoiler:
Is there somewhere I can read the complete set?
Yes, you can read the full story so far on Google docs here, it will get updated usually one or two days after the main thread.

Can I be in it?
Sure, just ask. I'll try fit you in somewhere, I'm always open for ideas.

Why are there no descriptions of races?
Races are hard to balance. They require a lot of world building and explanation as to why Orcs are here with talking cows, fighting talking goats. I didn't deem it relevant, and when people work together or split up it seems much better when everyone is a human speaking the same language.

Is everyone human?
No, Angels are a God like race, Demons are a supernatural race similar to Angels, everyone else is human.

Are there classes?
Although not being as strict as WoW itself, there are some classes. For now there are no plans for Shamans/Druids. Their powers are broken and imbalanced, and it takes too long to explain why they can do what they can. Elements from other classes are involved.

What is the scale of the world?
In Wow it takes about 20 seconds to get from SW to Goldshire. In this world the idea is it takes a lot longer, a few miles in fact. I think time in WoW is slowed down so people can travel faster. Doesn't make sense to have towns so close to a major city.

Why don't they just use the Deeprun Tram?
I removed this from my lore because it would make it too easy. The world is a lot smaller when you can simply take 1 minute trip across a continent. Any journeys from SW to IF must trek the mountains.

What does the italics mean in "People in this chapter?"
The person involved is not mentioned by the story teller, but by the people in the story. Their actions are described by other characters.

Does the story have a direction or written on the fly?
There's a long plot line in my head with major scenes to it. However the filling parts get added as I go along.

Is there magic?
Yes. Different types. Dark, light and arcane. It's not as big as in our WoW, but it is there. Most Paladins have powers, but instead of being able to cast spells, they are simply blessed in combat, lucky so to speak. Much of the old magic is forgotten or unused.

What do ** and ~~ mean?
These mark the chapter shifting to a different character, we see it from their perspective. ~~ mean that it is a flash back, someone remembering the past or retelling a story

Why are you rewriting the early part?
Although I knew the direction I wanted from the offset, the path there wasn't as clear. The build up was rather rushed early on, and characters were skipped over. I want there to be more tension and logic behind the conflicts, rather than bad guys arrive now let's fight. It will also make the later chapters fit better, and set the pacing to match the rest of the story. Action moves rapidly early on currently, whereas further on it's more slowed down.


To do list before story is completed

Spoiler:
  • Add More Lestata PoVs
    Add more Wilcox PoVs
    Change Smeldor PoVs to Knewklear
    Chillmaster PoVs
    Enhance the start so it's more political
    Remove Guild system
    Spellcheck
    Add two-three more chapters to ease flow in first 10 chapters

People involved in this Chapter

Spoiler:
Nyeriah
Dymond
SyntaxError
Kindzadza
Doctor_J
Chasity


Chapter One – Black Sails
Spoiler:
**Nyeriah**

Once again she found herself above the freezing waters of TrueWoW. Nyeriah, in her black and blue robes was the last Arch Angel, her rank signified by a golden tint along the edge of her garments. She was leader of the governing race known as the Angels, a powerful race who oversaw the well being of the world, but not even her own people knew she was here. The cold air blew past her face sweeping along the surface of the calm sea below. They were coming, they always seemed to be coming. This was the fourth time in three months that the dark sails had encroached upon the horizon. Without hesitation she plummeted from the skies and crashed onto the icy seas below, her mighty staff glowed and a golden pulse flashed across the waters as she struck down. Moments later, the water erupted and waves rose up, gaining momentum and rising high into the skies. It was done. The water crashed into the vessels forcing them back from whence they came, beyond the realm of TrueWoW. Nyeriah, exhausted, returned to her home city of Dalaran.

Dalaran was the greatest city in all of TrueWoW, but to many it was simply a myth. Floating high above the land it had been ripped from, its towers that reached the clouds. The path was glazed with a smooth touch, the buildings filled with ancient histories and literature from TrueWoW's past, knowledge beyond comprehension at the very fingertips of anyone who ventured there. The two most prominent structures were the Violet Hold, a dome like building with powerful energy within it, able to bring up beams of impenetrable purple walls. Long ago this had been used as a holding cell, but was now a relic of times long ago and the Angels used it as a simple storage area. They had no need for the immense power within its walls. On the opposite side of Dalaran stood the great Citadel, a monument to the Angel society it towered above the whole world. One hundred steps with flags of every civilization to grace the land staggered the way to its halls. This was where the world was led and the Angels had their council meetings. Mighty doors fifty feet tall barricaded the entrance, within its walls were mosaic tiles covering the floor. Pillars held the structure up and Angelic magic allowed quick transportation via wormholes to the top of the building. There, you could reach the balcony and gaze across the whole of TrueWoW, from Dalaran to the lower isles.

It was within this great building that the Angels were having their annual meeting about the affairs of the world. Around the table sat the senior members of government, Dymond, Chasity, J known as the Doctor, Kindzadza and Syntax. There was one empty chair, the head of the table, Nyeriah's.

“She's late, again.” said Syntax, impatiently tapping away at the table, he was the newest member of the high Angel class and had many opinions on its structure.

“Give her time.” Doctor mirrored back to the newcomer at the table.

As they began to quibble about the tardiness of their leader, the doors slammed open, Nyeriah strode in. She looked tired, using her staff to carry her forward she reached her chair and sat down. Before she could begin to speak, the now silent room erupted in commotion once again.

Dymond stood up, usually the quietest of the group, “You've been into the Hold again, I could sense its power sapped, what did you do!” pointing as she accused Nyeriah.

Nyeriah's head fell into her hands, perched up by the dusty wooden table. Her journeys to the distant oceans had meant she needed more power, to be stronger, believing it was for the best she had gone against Angel tradition and taken powerful forces from the hold.

“I can't tell you. Just know that I needed to do it, it had to be done” She replied calmly to the angered Angel.

Dymond nodded back to her leader, trusting her instinct, others of the group were not so easily swayed. This wasn't the first time Nyeriah had been late, members of the Angel core were beginning to suspect their leader was taking advantage of her position and going power crazy. Her lack of explanation of her actions did not help her case, nor did her unwillingness to share the burden. Grey hairs had begun to shine in her once gleaming red hair, a testament to the toil the power was taking on her body.

Arguments broke out within the chamber once again, Nyeriah slumped in her chair defeated as the people she protected argued over the validity of her rule. Angel society had degraded during her reign, there used to be many Arch Angels, but changing times lessened the power of their people. They relied on the faith of the underlings, the Horde and the Alliance, the changing world meant Angels were not needed as much. Nyeriah was regarded as the last Arch Angel and many within her own ranks believed it was time for their to no longer be one definitive Angel leader group. Arch Angels were more powerful than the average, they were leaders who rose up the ranks and ventured within the Violet Hold to receive their strength. It was believed that Nyeriah had taken this taste to her liking and abused the power. Knowing there was to be no more Arch Angels after herself, she had seen the opportunity to take the power all to her own. It was these accusations that hurt her the most, calls for the end of her reign happened constantly.

As the war of words raged between the council members, Doctor finally spoke out, “We need Nyeriah just as she needs us. We must be strong for her as she is us.”

Doctor had been around for a long time, a philosopher who kept to the ancient texts of the city, his wise words had steadied the Angel ship many times. He kept to himself much like Dymond, making his words ever the more precious. Silence crept over the chamber for the second time as he defended their leader, he feared what was to come. Some say he could see into the future, others believed he merely had good perception. Nevertheless, he understood Nyeriah's problems like no others did. Doctor's words may not have quelled the arguments forever, but due to their respect of his knowledge, the other Angels fell into line. Nyeriah sat back up from her seat, took a deep sigh and pulled the parchment in front of her closer. This outlined the issues the Angels would talk about, leaders of the Horde and Alliance would write to the Angels with their views, and the high society would discuss the best course of action. The Alliance were generally more favourable towards the Angels than the Horde, who were beginning to want full independence. The matter of keeping the Horde's trust was the top of the agenda of most meetings.

After much discussions, the Angels went back to their usual duties. Most Angels had simple roles, keeping peace across the land and had time to themselves within Dalaran's walls. However it was Chasity's job to liaison with the Alliance, she was their Guardian and the representative of the Angels for that faction. Likewise Syntax was the Horde representative, perhaps shown by his discomfort around other Angels. The two flew off to the capital cities of each faction, Stormwind and Orgrimmar with the notes of the high Angel meeting. mounting their dragon rides in the direction of the islands they flew off at great speeds. Although Angels could fly themselves, it took a large portion of their power and energy, especially for long distances such as this. To deal with this their ancestors had tamed the local dragons and trained them as loyal pets to use as transportation. With the Angel's ranks diminishing, the dragon's started to become extinct, they once graced the skies of TrueWoW often, but now for a mortal to see one was quite a sight.
**Syntax**

One year later, the Angels met for their annual meeting once again. Impatiently Syntax stormed up and down the chamber floor as Nyeriah was late yet again. The rest of the Angel group tried to calm him down, but something was different. Despite their reassurances, she didn't arrive at all.

“This is unacceptable, I've said it time and time again. She has to go! Strip her of her power” Spoke the aggravated Horde Angel.

He wore green and red robes with the Horde insignia, a circle encrusted with spikes. Whereas most Angels donned the standard blue and black robes of their people, those chosen for the tribes had slightly different apparel. After a long time waiting he unsheathed his sword and slammed it on the table. Shocked, the other Angels looked at each other and nodded. They knew he was right, even for Nyeriah this was bad, and it could not continue. There had been rumblings all over TrueWoW. The neglect of the Arch Angel could be seen from the underlings all the way up to Dalaran itself.

It is not known what happened to the last Arch Angel, whether she heard her own government debating how to get rid of her or if she simply didn't turn up to the meeting at all. She was not seen again after the discussions one year ago. It was not uncommon for Nyeriah to stay away from public life, but over the last few years her interactions with the rest of TrueWoW had lessened to the point where she only showed her face for internal meetings. This only added more to the accusations that she spent her time sapping the power from within the Violet Hold and hoarding the ancient Angel life source. Her fall signalled the true decline of the Angels and rumours began to spread across the whole of TrueWoW as the denizens of the world began wondering who was now in charge, and whether the Angels truly had their best interests at heart.

Once the final matters had been sorted, the Angel council members walked out of the chamber, Doctor looked at the empty Arch Angel's chair and sighed, he seemed troubled more than any of the other members, Syntax patted him on the back, in stark contrast he was overjoyed about Nyeriah's apparent disappearance. The two then followed the other Angels out of the citadel and closed the great doors behind him, ending Nyeriah's reign officially as now all council matters were closed. Syntax and Chasity then prepared for their journeys to the tribe nations, neither knowing how they would take the news of Nyeriah's betrayal.

The two usually travelled together and separated in the middle to go their different ways. This time however, Syntax, relieved that Nyeriah was finally gone couldn't wait to tell his followers the news. He quickly gathered his supplies, strapped himself to his dragon Glory, and flew off leaving the city of Angels behind.
Last edited by Bluebell on 05 Apr 2016 14:55, edited 70 times in total.
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Dymond
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Re: A story of TW

#2 » Post by Dymond » 19 Apr 2015 03:25

Can not wait for the next chapter, great job!
“Your mind is a garden , your thoughts are the seeds , you can grow flowers , or you can grow weeds”

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Karter
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Re: A story of TW

#3 » Post by Karter » 19 Apr 2015 03:53

TrueWoW - The saga
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Etro
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Re: A story of TW

#4 » Post by Etro » 19 Apr 2015 03:56

I felt bad for Nyeriah and I hated Syntax, although he is right D:

It was quite good. I always find power struggle based plots interesting.

I am nervious of how I am going to be used, though.
Last edited by Etro on 19 Apr 2015 04:32, edited 1 time in total.
"With life, no matter what you do, you are all in. This is going to kill you. Might as well play the most magnificent game you can while you're waiting, because... Do you have anything better to do? Really?"

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devil5000
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Re: A story of TW

#5 » Post by devil5000 » 19 Apr 2015 04:25

This chapter is rly nice and well written and I can't wait to read more.
Horde Main : Marick
Alliance Main : Anastasiya

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Darchrow
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Re: A story of TW

#6 » Post by Darchrow » 19 Apr 2015 09:01

I APPLAUD THEE
really enjoyed reading it
waiting for the next chaptah
teh char list ( 80s ) :
Jynx / Zubat / Alyce ( Swagmourne ) / Discord / Redtube
Disruption / Perplexity / Magejkdruid / Swagstormxqt ( Swagmobile )
Vinegar ~ Lvl 51 Rogue

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music

[Guild] [Angrycow]: nice to meet u im Sava and im really horny person

kindzadza ily

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Wilcox
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Re: A story of TW

#7 » Post by Wilcox » 19 Apr 2015 09:07

i want to be involved aswell as truewows one true wrathful gladiator
/tar Nyeriah
/rofl

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belendor
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Re: A story of TW

#8 » Post by belendor » 19 Apr 2015 10:25

o boi, this again :3
Belendor lvl 80 prot/holy paladin - The original

No need to mention the other paladins.

Best word in west flemish 'toetoet'

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Nyeriah

Re: A story of TW

#9 » Post by Nyeriah » 19 Apr 2015 10:39

Oh, it's interesting that you came up with this because I had some fun the past days I spent with no internet too and your story actually encouraged me into putting my drafts together. I long lost my way for writing things so it's very poorly written but still entertaining, at least to myself.

Here goes the drafts:

[hide]
Corruption Maestrus
I heard voices I could not understand... whispers, dispersed words. A withering embrace slowly started taking me over. They were whispers of angst, a melancholic call. What could this be? What meaning could this have? Questions I started to torture myself with. I needed those answers, the doubts started to devour me as time passed by.

I looked for wisdom, but it was nowhere to be found. The voices that once were whispers now screamed in disorder. Their pinch sounds - the sound of despair - started withering me, sapping my energy away. I needed to find the source of this... or accept the end.

I followed the sounds and they led me to a foreign land, a collapsing realm. Once a great sanctuary, now nothing but rubbles and memories of what once it was. At last, I had found the source of my inquietude. The souls of the former inhabitants contorted themselves and spiraled, an intense silver glow could be seen at the center of the spiral. An unknown energy kept them there and they... begged to be set free. But the ghostly light seemed to keep them captive. I needed to do something...

Preserve. It has ever since been decided that for the greater good the Heavens were not to intervene in the matters of mortals. But what would be of our duty if we neglected the innocent? For nothing an angel would serve if not to safe-keep the integrity of the humankind. Adan'ah Iith Captum. Our eternal duty reigns above all else.

I approached the spiral. The glow intensified as if it would have acknowledged my presence. K'nosh. I channeled all that I had left of my energies on an ancient spell, forgotten by time itself. Ak'nar droth ifizis. Drunai epil nevara. Drovanoh. [Shatter the bounds. Set them free. Preserve.]

The spiral started to disperse, the once spiraling souls started flowing in my direction and surrounded me. I wanted to fly away, but I could not, something grasped me, a bound, a strange force. I started feeling hollow, my emotions started seeping away and what was left was cold and chaotic. Such feelings were unknown to me. My glowing light that once shinned bright blue turned gray, frightening.

"That which we suffered you shall live then times more!" Yelled the sound of a thousand voices, resonating around me. I was broken. These were not the souls of innocents, no, they were tainted. An evil presence, a defiling entity, that I unaware set free. And now it took it's toll on me.

In my misery I found the answers that for so long I looked for, needless to say, they cut through me as a sharp blade - or the penetrating sound that echoed through me. The understanding of the mind of humans comes with an expensive price, as for that, I lost my wisdom. What once shinned bright now holds a deep dark glow, a dark silver light. The grasp started to wane away, as the realm itself sundered apart as the last tear ceased.

I flew away, back home, but things were not as they used to be anymore. I had a black mark on me, a mark that I would carry on forever. Humans can be more devious than Demons. Why is it so that they can choose between being good or evil? Angels cannot choose. Such an important choice cannot fall on the hands of those who are here for a while... and then gone forever. That's how things should be.

I know I may not last for much longer now.I feel weak and powerless. But I know that everything leads to the same end, and with or without me, all the roads lead to here. And that is wisdom.[/hide]

As for your story, it's indeed very well written and really grasps the reader's attention, that's really nice! As like everyone else, looking forward to see what happens next.

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Liqueur
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Re: A story of TW

#10 » Post by Liqueur » 19 Apr 2015 10:51

I love it how Nyeriah's bit complements Bluebelle's story.
Now we know what happened to Nyeriah!
I also wrote some WoW related stories, but I'm too shy to post them here D:
So keep em coming!
Since everyone's with their character list:
Liqueur ~ level 80 Blood Elf Paladin (PvE Ret/PvP Holy)
Caffeine ~ level 80 Undead Warrior (Fury/Prot)
Narcotic ~ level 80 Undead Priest (Disc/Shadow)
Megalomaniac ~ level 80 Orc Death Knight (UH DPS/Frost-Blood hybrid tank)
Lemuria ~ level 80 Troll Hunter (MM/BM)
Daisy ~ level 80 Tauren Druid (Balance/Resto)
Eszti ~ level 80 Human Warlock (Destro/Affli)
Gummybear ~ level 80 Blood Elf Paladin (Holy/Prot)
Lazy ~ level 80 Troll Rogue (Combat)
Foamy ~ level 80 Troll Priest (Holy/Shadow)
Bloodcow ~ level 80 Tauren Death Knight (Blood Tank/Blood DPS)
Neuroticfish ~ level 80 Night Elf Druid (Feral Cat/Bear)
Soilbleed ~ level 80 Orc Shaman (Enha/Resto)
Rottenmaiden ~ level 60 Undead Warlock

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lollypop
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Re: A story of TW

#11 » Post by lollypop » 19 Apr 2015 11:36

umm, my 2 cents, wannabe writer myself:
Without hesitation she plummeted from the skies and crashed onto the icy seas below, her mighty staff glowed and a golden pulse flashed across the waters as she struck it. Moments later, the water erupted and waves rose up, gaining momentum and rising high into the skies. It was done. The water crashed into the vessels
1.) imho, this is action sequence, should be a bit more illustrative. And idk, a bit more than just a few words, this is after all the raison d'etre of Nyeriah's absence on which the whole chapter is built upon..
Specifically, this sentence you can milk for more juice, to keep the reader entertained:
Moments later, the water erupted and waves rose up, gaining momentum and rising high into the skies. It was done


Idk, stuff like swirling tsunami wrecked the ships, torrent of wind tore their sails etc etc.....

2.) I would put them in a conclave, not council or government. has a better, more secretive ring to it.

3.) I like that you put action into the first chapter, i recently read an interview with some publisher, who remarked that the trend is to start off hard with action in first chapter so you hook the reader, and try to avoid long plots at the beginning, so as not to risk loosing reader's patience.

4.) Check out Kindle Self Publishing and make some coins if/when you feel your project is ready. If you decide to do this, make amends in advance in regards to story, names etc so that there is no copyright infringement with Blizzard.

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alpakturk
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Re: A story of TW

#12 » Post by alpakturk » 19 Apr 2015 13:05

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

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ItchyVortex
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Re: A story of TW

#13 » Post by ItchyVortex » 19 Apr 2015 15:35

Gonna quote lollypop number 1, even tho your text is very easy and entertaining to read, you could have made stronger descriptions.
Nice epilogue, i wonder where are you taking the plot after this and how will you blow our minds! :D
3.) I like that you put action into the first chapter, i recently read an interview with some publisher, who remarked that the trend is to start off hard with action in first chapter so you hook the reader, and try to avoid long plots at the beginning, so as not to risk loosing reader's patience.
That trick isnt just for literature, it also works in game design.
Esunna, Feral Druid | Elainn, Discipline Priest

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Knewklear
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Re: A story of TW

#14 » Post by Knewklear » 19 Apr 2015 17:55

Keep it up. Good work, thus far.

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kapernakiss
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Re: A story of TW

#15 » Post by kapernakiss » 19 Apr 2015 19:32

This is great bluebell, excited to read more :]

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