Why to be a gnome?

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Why to be a gnome?

#1 » Post by Rehan » 09 Apr 2011 18:50

Ever since the launch of World of Warcraft, it’s been the fashionable trend to engage, from time to time, in a healthy bout of gnome-bashing. The shield of tolerance does not cover Azeroth’s smallest intelligent race, as talk of gnome punting, consuming gnomes, and hollowing out gnomes to use as candle holders continues even to this day. Let’s face it: so many, many people despise gnomes.

Good. I’m glad. These people will die in a fire that my little 2-foot-tall gnome creates with only an effort of the will, writhing in pain and itching before the merciful end arrives.

As you can tell, I’m a gnome lover. As much as others hate the little fellas, I’m a staunch supporter of all things gnome.

So today, instead of spreading spittle-fueled ignorant hatred toward THE GREATEST ALLIANCE RACE THAT MIGHT AS WELL BE THEIR OWN FACTION, FOR HOW AWESOME THEY ARE, I’m going to rectify past ills by posting a list of 10 reasons why gnomes simply rock.

1. It’s awesome to root for the underdog.

People love underdogs, cheering them on to win out over superior odds, and what race fits that profile more than gnomes? The more you hate on gnomes, the more underdoggish they become (“If you strike me down, I shall come back stronger yet a bit more ghostly.”). Nobody expects gnomes to be anything other than Santa’s elves, tinkering away at advanced toys… so when a daring gnome adventurer goes toe-to-toe with Illidan himself, it’s a triumph of the little guy over the many Goliaths in WoW.

2. The mounts… oh, the mounts!

Oh, you have a pony? A goat, er, ram? A cute widdle kiddy cat? Dumbo? Sorry to hear that. MY ride is a mechanical masterpiece of design, belching environment-friendly black smoke and laden with practical things like rear view mirrors. Does your cat have a rear view mirror? You want to try to drill a hole in its head to attach one? Good luck!

3. Engineering.

There is nothing more fun in WoW than what the engineering profession can whip up, and gnomes are all over engineering like a fat kid on a twinkie. Mechanical squirrel? Scopes? Dragonling guardians? Shrink rays? DEATH RAYS? THE EPIC FLYING HELIJET? THE FREAKIN’ BATTLE CHICKEN OF DOOM!?! Oh, you can go back to your leatherworking now. I hear you can make drums now. That’s nice. Be great if you ever break into that band you and your dwarf buddies keep talking about.

4. Inflicting humiliation.

Getting killed in PvP is never fun, but when you’re slaughtered by a munchkin with a tiny pair of stabby knives… that is humiliation that never goes away. Or how about when the highest damage dealer is under three feet tall? Or if you have to get on your knees and beg an epic’d gnome to gift you with a little bread and water? They have an unkind word for people like you in prison, pal. Just call us gnomes your “daddy”.

5. Toshley’s Station.

Ever since gnomes went ahead and nuked their home city rather than let it fall prey to level 30 mobs (which, by the way, shows our strength of will and insanity), we gnomes have been on the lookout for a new place to call home. When Outland opened back up, we found it — Toshley’s Station. It’s nothing huge, just a last ditch defense on the border of a hostile frontier, but there’s ten kinds of awesome in this place. You want gnome snipers staving off wave after wave of bug attacks? Gnome devices freely handed out for you to experiment with? A catapult to send you to other areas on the map? A teleporter to heaven? Here ya go!

6. The racials.

Sure, gnomes don’t get racials to heal themselves, silence magic casters, stun enemies in a circle around them, or — and the loss of this really stings — be able to find TREASURE on your MAP, but be ye not hasty in discounting the gifts we are given! +5% INT is a boon to the gnome mages and warlocks, which comprise a majority of the gnome players out there. We get a bit of arcane resistance (yawn), and a nifty 15-point bump in engineering. With the engineering skill boost, our battle pets (who scale according to the players level AND the player’s engineering level) are stronger than any other engineer’s. Finally, no one can slow down a gnome — with “Escape Artist”, we get an instant cast root/slow cleanser that keeps us moving away from those pesky mages or druids.

7. Hands down, the best avatar choices in the game.

People whine and moan about how little variety there is in WoW’s character creator options, and for the most part this is true — except when it comes to gnomes. Gnome males get a huge variety of stellar-looking facial hair options, and gnome females are all over crazy ponytails, bobs and sweeping hairstyles. Plus, why would you want a character with brown, dark green, or sandy yellow hair when you could whip up a gnome with pink or blue highlights?

8. The emotes.

/dance. /silly. /flirt. /rude. Every emote that erupts from a gnome is scientifically proven to be 100% cuter and superior to the other races. “I apologize profusely for any inconvenience my murderous rampage may have caused.”

9. You can get away with murder. Literally.

Did that orc warrior pull before your casters were ready? Did that human paladin bubble to safety while letting the rest of your group die? It’s time for a little kicking of the butts, mon frier! Yet as a gnome, I’ve found I can get away with practically anything, as long as I do it in the mischievous spirit that the gnome aura fosters. How can you possibly get mad at an adorable bouncing midget who’s clearly having the time of their life tagging a couple dozen mobs to come stampeding down the corridor toward your group? Can you blame a gnome for deciding that in the middle of a boss fight is the best time to experiment if that poultryizer works or not? I think not!

10. Conformity is for morons.

You’re a night elf hunter? An undead shadow priest? A dirty ninja of a rogue? A blood elf pally? Congrats. You’re as unique as a grain of salt in a shaker. You’re just one of a hundred thousand sellouts that delude themselves about the special nature of their character, while in fact you’ve joined an army of clones.

Me? I’ll be over here doing something different than the rest of you. Marching to the own beat of my techno drum. Making my fellow citizens into radioactive lepers. Living up life close down to the ground. I’m sexy. I’m frisky. And I’m a gnome, baby!

P.S.: I found this really cool so I tought I should post it :D
Original post HERE
Gnome powa' !

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#2 » Post by Warpath » 09 Apr 2011 21:03

Gnomes ftw!!! I would like to be a gnome pala if I could :D

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#3 » Post by Stryke » 09 Apr 2011 21:41

Who let the gnome on stage?



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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#4 » Post by Warpath » 09 Apr 2011 22:27

Who let the gnomes out ? who who who who!!!! :D :lol:

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#5 » Post by kuufi » 09 Apr 2011 22:58

A quote from my guild chat "Who let the gnomes out.... breakfast breakfast breakfast."

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#6 » Post by Warpath » 09 Apr 2011 23:05

lawl, chuck norris eats nubs and gnomes :D

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#7 » Post by Fenris » 10 Apr 2011 12:42

In soviet russia gnomes punt you.
Fenris - the ultimate tank

The angels sang out... in an immaculate chorus
And down from the heavens... descended Chuck Norris

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#8 » Post by Intervention » 11 Apr 2011 02:51

Damn gnomes..the anchor on society.

Chicken, Fried Chicken
Send me mail in-game or a PM if you need to contact me!

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#9 » Post by Minime » 11 Apr 2011 07:47

Toshley’s Station.. home?!

The Gnomish Civilization is trying to recapture their home of Gnomeregan, and not make a new one! Toshley’s Station Is just an outpost in Outland, nothing more!

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#10 » Post by Stryke » 11 Apr 2011 16:37

It's hard to take a gnome seriously. I can always imagine a gnome warrior tanking Deathwing... the size difference would make me die all the time... of laughter :P

"Rawwarrrrr!!! Even though I'm 2 feet tall I am a fierce warrior" xD

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#11 » Post by joropopov » 11 Apr 2011 18:50

i have a gnome chick warrior (yes prot warrior) with pink tails and cute blue eyes in progress. Gnomes FTW xD
Anger - lvl 80 Mage
Blameme - lvl 80 Druid
Helma - Hunter in progres :)

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#12 » Post by Klick17 » 29 Oct 2019 23:23

Gnomes are the the best race to play incase you wanna be a rogue and sneak pass everyone and everything to be undetected due to the small, funny,and (almost) unable to be seen size they have, and their clever thinking. :) :lol:

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Re: Why to be a gnome?

#13 » Post by Kniteknite » 30 Oct 2019 07:41

" French fries are like steaks, where the potato is the cow and gets cut up, like meat does, only on a smaller scale. "

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